The Sheltered Existence. Fin: New Digs

Yesterday, I finally moved from the “Psi Kappa Omicron Sorority” to supportive housing. The quiet is deafening. The door, puts me “between the worlds” where I can finally have some peace. The people I have met here, in this new world, so to speak, are friendly, and so far above where I was, that it’s a bit astonishing.

My room, is about 12×20 (rectangular) with a dorm-sized fridge with a sink. I share the kitchen and a bathroom. I can come and go. I am an adult. Again.

UPDATE: About an hour ago, I felt like crying as it felt like the weight of the World had been lifted from me. Sweet Relief. I still feel like crying tears of Joy.

Ghimeabragh, Uncategorized

The Sheltered Existence Pt.17 The Long Winding Road to Housing

This is my last few days at the shelter. I will be moving into permanent housing by weeks end. My “sisters” at Psi Kappa Omicron have decided to send me off with a bang: a few fights, psychotic smearing of feces on the bathroom wall, and generally being little more than grade school students not wanting the “unpopular kid” to sit with them at lunch. As for me, I’ve spent a few days doing nothing but sleep. I am exhausted from all this. I’ve spent a full day at HRA waiting to get a piece of paper, that I have to go back Thursday to retrieve.

I’m a celebrity… GET ME OUT OF HERE!


The Sheltered Existence Pt 16 Return to Grade School

Sunday. F$cking Sunday. We were all awakened at 6 am to the sounds of a heated argument. It lasted until 8 am. Two hours of people yelling at each over I have no clue, but since it was left to go on, I must presume that the overnight staffer was either asleep, not at the desk or watching it for entertainment purposes. Of course, the “SHUT THE F**K UP” rang out, along with “SHHH” all to no effect.

The rest of the day was quiet. Except for the Bernice Show. Loud, annoyingly brassy and you just want to stuff a sock in her mouth. She took exception to someone sitting near her at dinner and a grade school argument of “You can’t sit there” broke out. Duration? 10 minutes.

It’s time for the pre-medication snack, and a fight is about to break out over the gluttony of a few women. some are eating a third complete meal consisting of a leftover plate from lunch or dinner (or both) an apple and a slice of pie. This is not sitting well with the rest of the women who need to take their meds with food. This could be solved if a snack were brought in for everyone, but that’s asking a bit too much, when they more or less cleared out the fridge for tonight’s snack.

Thank you, Lord for my Deliverance from this Place. Selah


The Sheltered Existence Pt 15: New Sister in the Sorority House

and, man, does she have anger issues… She just arrived, hadn’t even done her required intake, and when she was told she had to wait to de her laundry, she pitched a tantrum like you wouldn’t believe, screaming it was because she was “new” and there was a “seniority system” and blah-blah-blah. The  culminating factor  in the police being called was that she was throwing chairs around in the Tv room. By the time the cops arrived, another had calmed her down and was pissed that the on-duty staffer had called the cops. I think it was because the second staffer was made to work.

She’s calm now, but I still give her wide berth.

Venus Sextile Saturn, , exact at 00:50
activity period from 12 December 2011 to 13 December 2011

Ad Astra

The Sheltered Existence Pt.14 – Wonder of Wonders…

I interviewed for an apartment last week. Well, it’s a studio in a suite that I will share with three others, but we each have our own private room and we share the kitchen and the bath. I go back next week for the psychiatric screening.  It’s a really nice building in Manhattan on the West side. My “long national nightmare” may soon be ending.

Self-assertive energies Mars in the 5th House,  5,
activity period from 4 December 2011 until beginning of August 2012


The Sheltered Existence, Pt13 Et Mi Matria

Happy UN-Thanksgiving. Times Square Church came and served up Jesus with the turkey and pork. I sat for a bit. got up and left, returned and began shaking with rage over the extreme level of discomfort, and the knowledge that I had reached my limit on the psychological pressure. I cracked. I vented, to a caseworker the week before, a volunteer, and I got the stealth conversion spiel from the woman who organized it from TSC. Everyone was telling me to suck it up and enjoy the turkey (which I did).  Later in the evening, while talking to a  staffer I mentioned my impression that this is not a secular shelter, and she agreed.

This morning, I got the stealth conversion via invitation to a church thanksgiving. The only way I can deal with the pressure is to be out of body, so to speak. or, banish myself to someplace else.

For 4 months,  I have put up with the unrelenting stealth proslytizing by the staff. They get all defensive when I asky why no consideration for other beliefs.   Thursday, the Umbrella organiztion will be serving a Thanksgiving meal. I told my caseworker that I feel the need to be “fucked up” in order to cope with the prospect of being on the outside looking in. I am stressed, anxious, doubling up on my meds. I sleep but wake up tired. I am angry. frustrated.  and, no one at that fucking place really gives a shit. ALL COURT HOLY WATER


I may be in Purgatory, but the rest of them are in Limbo.

So, Hail fucking Eris, kiddies.