Dear Comment Spammers,
Since you decided to befoul my webjournal’s comment pages with your unwanted and unasked for advertising, I have decided that the best way to fight this is to send you an invoice for EACH URI posted in your commentary. That means, 3 websites in a single comment? You get invoiced for each one. Your website as your commenter alias, You get invoiced. I don’t give a ripe Cheney if it’s an affiliate of yours. YOU get invoiced along with your Domain holder for the privilege of being listed as an advertiser. Yes, I will be invoicing you $500US PER URI posted.
My legal standing on this:

Pursuant to US Code, Title 47, Chapter 5, Subchapter II, §227, any and all nonsolicited commercial E-mail sent to this address is subject to a download and archival fee in the amount of $500 US. E-mailing denotes acceptance of these terms.

While genuine comments on my writings are solicited, Advertising your games/business/tchotkes is not and will be considered to email spam. your clogging of my comments costs me time and money, and I shall be compensated. I will take this to Court here in the State of New York, so I hope you can afford the expense of travel. Again, I don’t give fig if it’s an Affiliate of yours. YOU are responsible for their behavior, and if it’s a bot, then it’s criminal malicious mischief as far as I am concerned and will treat it as such,and I will go to the necessary LEA to shut you down, fined and if necessary, imprisoned.
Thank you,

The 40 Year old Magpie

P.S. If you are a business, I will come after you as well for the being so stupid as to not periodically check your system for trojans and other assorted malware and viruses.