Prose & Poetry

My first NaNoWriMo

A few years ago, I did the “write a script in 30 days” for naNo, and now, I am challenging myself to write and FINISH a novel in 30…..

Will I succeed? Or suck eggs?

UPDATE:  It’s now Nov29, and I can happily report that my NaNoWriMo outing has ended in less than 4 pages…

 

There’s next year.

And, now a song from Rocky Mountain MIke.

Chemo, Prose & Poetry, Reprints & Crossposts

Belonging

I never felt I belonged anywhere. I felt “outside”. Even within my family, I felt like I didn’t quite belong there. Still do.  Why I feel this way, I don’t really know. I made a decision decades ago, that with exceptions, the people I knew just didn’t want to be around me. I’d want to call and ask if they wanted to go to the movies or something, but something inside me stopped me by telling me I’d be wasting my time.

This nonsense was amplified when I became brain injured and then homeless. Added to these feelings was an embarrassment and shame due to my inability to discuss contemporary culture. How can you watch the latest, hottest shows go to the theater or even read a book when you have no attention span, or even access to a tv?

Two years ago, I hospitalized myself because jumping out a window seemed a good idea. I am dealing with major depression. I lived in shelters for about a year –  you can read my series “The Sheltered Existence” on this blog it wasn’t a great experience, it wasn’t bad, either. it was what it was.

I’m in a stable environment, and was just getting myself stable, when Stage 1 breast cancer kneecapped me. Diagnosed in March, surgery in May, Chemo began in June. It’s amplified my depression. It’s made somewhat of a prisoner in my 200sq ft of studio.  Just because I get dressed and decide to go out, doesn’t mean it will happen.

I’m going to be live streaming the Farewell to My Hair, as enough of it has fallen out to reveal islands of scalp. My friends will be watching from California to hear in NYC and cheering me on. Tonight, I found out that crazy improvisers from the Magnet Musical Mixer miss me.

Truthfully, it made me cry.
I don’t feel too much of an outsider anymore.

Prose & Poetry

I have Chemotherapy

yes, chemotherapy. I had a lumpectomy two weeks ago, and although the cancerous spots were all removed, and the lymph nodes are clear, I have chemotherapy. I was diagnosed with HER2 Positive cancer, which means, even though the got it all, I have to undergo 5 years of chemotherapy, as it’s a rather aggressive form of cancer. Non-genetically inherited, just over-active proteins on the outside of the cell that turn to mildew from mutation.

So, I have Chemotherapy, and not cancer.

Prose & Poetry

Language Work

Yesterday, was a very long day for all of us in MacB*th – we were working with our dialect coach, “dialect doug” on the Original Pronunciation of Shakespeare’s English. Making things difficult, was that during this time, the English language was changing, so words pronounced in his earlier plays, such as Twelfth Night, had by the time of James I, were pronounced differently. most interesting of all, is learning that the “k” in such words as “knock”, “knight”, “known” was voiced until about the18th century. 

We went over the basics of phonetics, and the Cardinal Vowels, where the tongue is placed and how the tongue & lips form the sounds of that era. I must state, that “OP” is a scholarly reconstruction, by David Crystal,  based on Ben Jonson’s work, and clues in the works of Shakespeare and earlier playwrights.

It was a long day for all, starting at 2pm, and ending at 10 pm, with a dinner break. As my pia mater tired, I kept trying to focus, and found my working memory had taken a hike. Still, I did my best to properly place my tongue and use a rounded lip, and, it blew. 

“Go slow and let nature take you, always do your best, and be kind to yourself.”- Gary Busey.