In the 15 years since the Towers fell, and over 3,000 people from around the World perished, I’m still there to a certain extent. Traveling under Fulton St on the 4 express to Bowling Green retriggered my then in-remission asthma. So, the day & it’s aftermath will always be part of me.
I wrote this one week after the Towers fell, and I was able to get off of Staten Island via the Ferry:
In the World of the Discordian, I would hazard that as of 9/11/01, we have left the Age of Bureaucracy, and entered the Age of Aftermath…
Sept 18, 2001 (Rosh HaShanah) I wrote:
A week ago, while trying to capture the remnants of Dreams, the phone rang. “Kelly, it’s Carl. the World Trade Center collapsed.” and with those words, everything changed. I turned on the radio and listened. Carl and I talked about what happened, about the safety of his family when he said: “The other Tower just collapsed. I gotta go.” He had watched it all from his office.
Over the next few days, I climbed out onto the fire escape to view the skyline. We had entered the Underworld, and New York Harbor had become the River Styx with Charon at the helm of the Ferries that ran between South Ferry and Staten Island, I emailed friends and family to let them know I was ok, helped a friend whose Mother was Missing Never to be Recovered, volunteered at the Red Cross Emergency Center at the just opened Staten Island Yankees Ballpark….
(written on the Ferry going towards Lower Manhattan) I am now beginning my own Journey to the Underworld. I am no Orpheus, but, perhaps I am. The city is shrouded. The forlorn tolling of a buoy bell. Is that fog? or, is it smoke from the still smoldering ruins? It’s a cynic’s question. Journalist on deck. from Japan. from somewhere in the U.S.
I can feel the Pain. Smell the Dead. The Ferry is arriving and I step in the Domain of Hades and Hekate.
I chose to ride a bus. An M15 Local. Not much choice. It’s the only running. Lower Manhattan was ghostly in its emptiness. as the bus turned off Water St, it started to become surreal – from the closed stores and the empty Sea Port. people walking to – where? As the bus moved uptown, Life returned in slow motion. the smoke. the smell receded to be replaced by traffic. The traffic grew heavier as and then came the pictures. Walls of pictures. no picture covering another, and one woman looking at each one in its turn that had been posted on a wall of a deli. the bus first passed by Beth Israel, then Bellevue and NYU. the next wall of pictures was taped to a construction barrier at, I believe, Bellevue. and the bus continued up 1st Ave. We passed a playground where the adults seemed to outnumber the children and none were at play. Getting off the bus at 50th St., in the shadow of the UN, I walked down to 48th St. and began to walk west towards Broadway. As I walked, I was struck by the Silence. No talking. no cell phones. no music. no car horns. Silence. I walked past a silent and empty Rockefeller Center, and I stopped to look at the FOX-TV News zipper and once more was stunned: bin Laden had achieved what no one could. A unilateral cease-fire betwixt Palestinians and Israelis. Maybe they finally realized that ‘tit for tat’ would bring ruin to both sides.
Later in the day, I walked over to Engine 54 in the Heart of the Theater District, just four blocks from the theater I used to manage. It was overwhelming. The Letters and flowers.Candles and Prayers. I cried. for the Missing Never to be Recovered, the Dead, the Living, but mostly for the children. I wished that they had missed this performance, along with the rest of the 5000+. It was one curtain that never should have gone up.
It’s weird. I’m sitting at Starbucks and the music is this “happy-Doo-Wop” version of “muzak” It was unreal looking out the window, traffic flowing down 9th Ave. as though nothing is amiss…I considered attending Rosh Hashanah services, but somehow, I felt empty by the consideration. so, I traveled back down to South Ferry, riding the 4 Express to Bowling Green. As the train approached Fulton Street Station, smoke was evident in the tunnel, you could smell flesh. My sinuses reacted immediately and I knew my voice would be affected as well.
What I didn’t plan on was becoming violently ill a few hours after I got home.
Coda: I revisit this post every year. I still smell the flesh in the tunnel under Fulton Street, and I still carry the dust of those who died within me. For them, I am strong.
I never felt I belonged anywhere. I felt “outside”. Even within my family, I felt like I didn’t quite belong there. Still do. Why I feel this way, I don’t really know. I made a decision decades ago, that with exceptions, the people I knew just didn’t want to be around me. I’d want to call and ask if they wanted to go to the movies or something, but something inside me stopped me by telling me I’d be wasting my time.
This nonsense was amplified when I became brain injured and then homeless. Added to these feelings was an embarrassment and shame due to my inability to discuss contemporary culture. How can you watch the latest, hottest shows go to the theater or even read a book when you have no attention span, or even access to a tv?
Two years ago, I hospitalized myself because jumping out a window seemed a good idea. I am dealing with major depression. I lived in shelters for about a year – you can read my series “The Sheltered Existence” on this blog it wasn’t a great experience, it wasn’t bad, either. it was what it was.
I’m in a stable environment, and was just getting myself stable, when Stage 1 breast cancer kneecapped me. Diagnosed in March, surgery in May, Chemo began in June. It’s amplified my depression. It’s made somewhat of a prisoner in my 200sq ft of studio. Just because I get dressed and decide to go out, doesn’t mean it will happen.
I’m going to be live streaming the Farewell to My Hair, as enough of it has fallen out to reveal islands of scalp. My friends will be watching from California to hear in NYC and cheering me on. Tonight, I found out that crazy improvisers from the Magnet Musical Mixer miss me.
Truthfully, it made me cry.
I don’t feel too much of an outsider anymore.
x-posted from flatpointhigh.newsvine.com
SovCit. No, I am not referring to Citizens of the former USSR, no I am referring to “Sovereign Citizens” Those “Americans” who think themselves above all laws of their State and Country. Who will not pay taxes, drive with licenses or insurance, and who use th elaws they so despise to harrass the Courts and indiviuals who disagree with them. SovCits, and others believe their 2nd Amendment Rigth to carry trumps everyone elses 4th Amendment Right to be safe in their Persons, Possessions and Home. The intolerance shown toward those who are not like “them” is telling. Their support for unfettered access to firearms enriches the Black Market for firearms aroud the World & provides felons, drug dealers, domestic abusers, the severly mentally ill, and terrorists access to firearms via the Gun Show Loophole. Yet these same “Patriots” yelled and howled over the debacle that was Fast and Furious.
To be clear, I support the Constitution in all it’s Glory, yet I must wonder how past generations, of men and women looking down (or up) at what Mass Hysteria has wrought and are shaking their heads. Too many of these individuals only see the Constitution with only two Amendments: the 2nd and the 10th. Why even a Congressman stated that our Right to Free Speech came from the SECOND. Sir, YOU are entrusted by your constituents, and the rest of America with upholding the Constitution. How can you when you clearly have no freaking clue as to what was therein.
My questionis this: How many of these SovCits, Patriots,and Militiamen are also involved in illegal arms dealing?
To you “Originalists”, So, you only wish White Landowning Males to vote? You want Slavery to return? Indentured Servitude for those who can’t pay debts? Oh,wait, we already have that. The Constitution will still give Congress the Power to regulate Trade and regulate Taxes.
Or, are you just fearful of your own shadow?
on this past Erev Yom haShoah (which she spelled “yom A Shoa), Ms. Taitz fell into a sinkhole and spat on the 10 million murdered by actual Nazi Policies. She has actually conflated her crusade with the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, and actually posted this as part of her disgusting Narcissistic viewpoint:
“Let us not forget: if in Germany in 19332-1942, before Hitler took oer the nation, some attorneys were to fight and be persistent, they could have found one honest judge, one honest court, some decent members of Reichstag. Lives of millions could have been spared, if people were to open their eyes early on and were to fight the concentration of power, the abuse of power, the lawlessness and corruption. We have to fight. We might lose a battle, we might lose a dozen battles, but we will win the war. Defeat is not an option.”
No matter that you can’t even properly transliterate Yom haShoah, Ms. Taitz, if indeed your grandparents and parents survived the Kishiniev Massacre, you have disgraced, and committed a sacrilege against their memory, and the memory of those who died there in your self-serving sham of a crusade to get as much money out your sycophants as possible.
What I know:
I am quite literally of the Stars
I am not Perfect
I am not IMperfect
I just Am
©2013 Kelly Lincoln
All Rights Reserved
The GOP is putting into practice here what was perfected under other Administrations and their destabilization of other countries, particularly in South America. I am of the opinion, that we laugh at the current event page at our peril. The people fomenting sedition and calling for the overthrow of our duly elected government are the shock troops FOX has been grooming since the inception of the network.
These “patriots” have been fed a steady diet of fear, hate, and conspiracy to the point that they have created an entirely separate Consensus Reality where they live in a Repressive [insert Doublespeak Description here] Regime that has taken away their “voice” as Americans. They have fallen prey to the hucksterism of “Sovereign Citizenship” and the embrace of a Social Darwinian view of Humanity, which they have bought as “Christianity“. They have an “I got mine, so fuck you” attitude towards others that are in the situation they were in. While we may jeer at them, they feel and most importantly, they Believe they are being bullied, and we know that the Bullied Can And sometimes Do turn violent and kill everything in sight.
When you listen to people talk about their Constitutional Rights, they seem to leave out the FIRST AMENDMENT. There is a reason why the Framers placed the RIGHTS of Speech, Petition, Press and Worship as Paramount over the Militia. These Sacred Rights are more important than the Milita.
WHAT PART OF:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Do the Fearmongers not comprehend?
And, what brought me to this? There is a Facebook “Event” that is supposed to take place in
May June, when a group of “patriots” will attempt to arrest the entirety of our Duly Elected Government and the Supreme Court.
We The People will meet at the Capital Building in Washington DC to make a mass citizens arrest on every member of congress – both the house and senate, the Vice President and President for Treason against the United States of America.
With the aid of local law enforcement We The People will read formal charges of treason against each and every one of them and then each will be arrested and given due process.
We The People as American citizens have every right to make a citizens arrest if we see a crime being committed or know of a crime that has been committed and OUR elected officials are not holding their oaths to uphold and protect the U.S. Constitution and they no longer represent the people and doing so is TREASON and they must be held accountable.
Its past time the American people took action to hold OUR elected officials accountable for the damage they have done to this great country. I hope you will be one of the true American patriots that will show up and help the American people to see OUR country again.
Lets do this the PEACEFUL way fellow Americans. We are a republic – the rule of law and lets use the law to do the right thing and arrest them all for treason.
Yet, they are not “overthrowing” the Government, because ELECTIONS!!!!!!
To Restore The Republic – Four Goals
All 50 states each nullify the federal government by voting by ballot – only takes 35 to do it.
All 50 states make voter registration without declaring any party – only register to vote. We are all Americans and America comes before any political party. Both major parties are corrupt and no longer represent the people. Make the primaries blanket so there are no parties involved. That means no republican or democrat primaries – all Americans.
All 50 states make ALL elections paper ballot only and mandatory hand counts. NO ELECTRONIC MEANS to count ballots or vote.
All 50 states make it mandatory that a jury is told there are three options – not guilty, guilty, and the law is unjust and nullify the charges. The legal system needs checks and balances too and a jury is one way to do that. The status quo currently HIDES this from any jury.
Ohh, loook!!! Jury Nullification!!!
oh, and they want “Oath Keepers” to protect them, while they attempt to break up the United States of America.
One commenter, speaks thus:
Samantha Adams I would like to get everybody to pledge that they will go over a Constitutional course by either The National Center for Constitutional Studies (NCCS) or by Michael Badnarik, which is currently available through the Internet at:
If they do not make a PLEDGE to go through one of these Constitution courses they should not come.*
Considering the fact,t hat the “Constitutional Expert” is a computer “expert”, conspiracy theorist, and disrespects the flag by placing it upside down, and therefore knows the Real Truth of what our Constitution says. He’s an idiot.
*this is akin to the pre-Voting Rights Act‘s Polling place Literacy Test for Blacks.