I never felt I belonged anywhere. I felt “outside”. Even within my family, I felt like I didn’t quite belong there. Still do. Why I feel this way, I don’t really know. I made a decision decades ago, that with exceptions, the people I knew just didn’t want to be around me. I’d want to call and ask if they wanted to go to the movies or something, but something inside me stopped me by telling me I’d be wasting my time.
This nonsense was amplified when I became brain injured and then homeless. Added to these feelings was an embarrassment and shame due to my inability to discuss contemporary culture. How can you watch the latest, hottest shows go to the theater or even read a book when you have no attention span, or even access to a tv?
Two years ago, I hospitalized myself because jumping out a window seemed a good idea. I am dealing with major depression. I lived in shelters for about a year – you can read my series “The Sheltered Existence” on this blog it wasn’t a great experience, it wasn’t bad, either. it was what it was.
I’m in a stable environment, and was just getting myself stable, when Stage 1 breast cancer kneecapped me. Diagnosed in March, surgery in May, Chemo began in June. It’s amplified my depression. It’s made somewhat of a prisoner in my 200sq ft of studio. Just because I get dressed and decide to go out, doesn’t mean it will happen.
I’m going to be live streaming the Farewell to My Hair, as enough of it has fallen out to reveal islands of scalp. My friends will be watching from California to hear in NYC and cheering me on. Tonight, I found out that crazy improvisers from the Magnet Musical Mixer miss me.
Truthfully, it made me cry.
I don’t feel too much of an outsider anymore.
I more or less survived m first week. I reacted badly to the Taxol, and now I get dosed with Benadryl before I get the drugs. I’m taking part in a study, so I get infused with calcium and magnesium before I get the Benadryl and the taxol & herceptin. the entire process is an all day affair. Benadryl knocks puts me to sleep. So far, no nausea, with the anti-nausea meds, but I am dealing with acne.
Sigh.
I am working on keeping to as normal a schedule as I can. Stay tuned.
SovCit. No, I am not referring to Citizens of the former USSR, no I am referring to “Sovereign Citizens” Those “Americans” who think themselves above all laws of their State and Country. Who will not pay taxes, drive with licenses or insurance, and who use th elaws they so despise to harrass the Courts and indiviuals who disagree with them. SovCits, and others believe their 2nd Amendment Rigth to carry trumps everyone elses 4th Amendment Right to be safe in their Persons, Possessions and Home. The intolerance shown toward those who are not like “them” is telling. Their support for unfettered access to firearms enriches the Black Market for firearms aroud the World & provides felons, drug dealers, domestic abusers, the severly mentally ill, and terrorists access to firearms via the Gun Show Loophole. Yet these same “Patriots” yelled and howled over the debacle that was Fast and Furious.
To be clear, I support the Constitution in all it’s Glory, yet I must wonder how past generations, of men and women looking down (or up) at what Mass Hysteria has wrought and are shaking their heads. Too many of these individuals only see the Constitution with only two Amendments: the 2nd and the 10th. Why even a Congressman stated that our Right to Free Speech came from the SECOND. Sir, YOU are entrusted by your constituents, and the rest of America with upholding the Constitution. How can you when you clearly have no freaking clue as to what was therein.
My questionis this: How many of these SovCits, Patriots,and Militiamen are also involved in illegal arms dealing?
To you “Originalists”, So, you only wish White Landowning Males to vote? You want Slavery to return? Indentured Servitude for those who can’t pay debts? Oh,wait, we already have that. The Constitution will still give Congress the Power to regulate Trade and regulate Taxes.
yes, chemotherapy. I had a lumpectomy two weeks ago, and although the cancerous spots were all removed, and the lymph nodes are clear, I have chemotherapy. I was diagnosed with HER2 Positive cancer, which means, even though the got it all, I have to undergo 5 years of chemotherapy, as it’s a rather aggressive form of cancer. Non-genetically inherited, just over-active proteins on the outside of the cell that turn to mildew from mutation.
I have cancer. Big fucking deal. With what I have thrived through, this is nothing. The one difference is that I shall be utterly ruthless in my complete and thorough eradication of this mutant attempting to gain control of my being. If you have issues with my approach, too freaking bad.
To Our Elected members of the Congress and Senate:
When the Will of 90% of the American People is tossed aside to defer to the Firearms Manufacturers and Their Blood Money, it becomes apparent, that the Right to be Secure in Our Homes and Persons means little to them. When the Lives of Our Children mean less than Money, You, have an Issue with Your Conscience, Ethics, and the Creator.
We, the undersigned Americans, therefore, Demand a National Referendum on the Following:
1) Black Powder must be brought into conformity with other explosive materials, and therefore, must have taggants included in its manufacture.
2) Reinstitute the Brady Act, and the ban on Semi-automatic firearms.
3) Closing of the Gun Show Loophole. While it will not stop lawbreakers from obtaining firearms, it will make it more difficult.
4) Increase penalties for Straw Purchases and Gun Trafficking.
5) The Firearms Manufacturers must have their indemnification against lawsuits removed to enable them to be more responsible in how they market their product.
These five items will only go to Strengthen Our Right to Bear Arms, by bringing the Manufacturers into line with:
Amendment II. A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.
on this past Erev Yom haShoah (which she spelled “yom A Shoa), Ms. Taitz fell into a sinkhole and spat on the 10 million murdered by actual Nazi Policies. She has actually conflated her crusade with the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising, and actually posted this as part of her disgusting Narcissistic viewpoint:
“Let us not forget: if in Germany in 19332-1942, before Hitler took oer the nation, some attorneys were to fight and be persistent, they could have found one honest judge, one honest court, some decent members of Reichstag. Lives of millions could have been spared, if people were to open their eyes early on and were to fight the concentration of power, the abuse of power, the lawlessness and corruption. We have to fight. We might lose a battle, we might lose a dozen battles, but we will win the war. Defeat is not an option.”
No matter that you can’t even properly transliterate Yom haShoah, Ms. Taitz, if indeed your grandparents and parents survived the Kishiniev Massacre, you have disgraced, and committed a sacrilege against their memory, and the memory of those who died there in your self-serving sham of a crusade to get as much money out your sycophants as possible.
The GOP is putting into practice here what was perfected under other Administrations and their destabilization of other countries, particularly in South America. I am of the opinion, that we laugh at the current event page at our peril. The people fomenting sedition and calling for the overthrow of our duly elected government are the shock troops FOX has been grooming since the inception of the network.
These “patriots” have been fed a steady diet of fear, hate, and conspiracy to the point that they have created an entirely separate Consensus Reality where they live in a Repressive [insert Doublespeak Description here] Regime that has taken away their “voice” as Americans. They have fallen prey to the hucksterism of “Sovereign Citizenship” and the embrace of a Social Darwinian view of Humanity, which they have bought as “Christianity“. They have an “I got mine, so fuck you” attitude towards others that are in the situation they were in. While we may jeer at them, they feel and most importantly, they Believe they are being bullied, and we know that the Bullied Can And sometimes Do turn violent and kill everything in sight.
When you listen to people talk about their Constitutional Rights, they seem to leave out the FIRST AMENDMENT. There is a reason why the Framers placed the RIGHTS of Speech, Petition, Press and Worship as Paramount over the Militia. These Sacred Rights are more important than the Milita.
WHAT PART OF:
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Do the Fearmongers not comprehend?
And, what brought me to this? There is a Facebook “Event” that is supposed to take place in May June, when a group of “patriots” will attempt to arrest the entirety of our Duly Elected Government and the Supreme Court.
Excerpt:
We The People will meet at the Capital Building in Washington DC to make a mass citizens arrest on every member of congress – both the house and senate, the Vice President and President for Treason against the United States of America.
With the aid of local law enforcement We The People will read formal charges of treason against each and every one of them and then each will be arrested and given due process.
We The People as American citizens have every right to make a citizens arrest if we see a crime being committed or know of a crime that has been committed and OUR elected officials are not holding their oaths to uphold and protect the U.S. Constitution and they no longer represent the people and doing so is TREASON and they must be held accountable.
Its past time the American people took action to hold OUR elected officials accountable for the damage they have done to this great country. I hope you will be one of the true American patriots that will show up and help the American people to see OUR country again.
Lets do this the PEACEFUL way fellow Americans. We are a republic – the rule of law and lets use the law to do the right thing and arrest them all for treason.
Yet, they are not “overthrowing” the Government, because ELECTIONS!!!!!!
To Restore The Republic – Four Goals
All 50 states each nullify the federal government by voting by ballot – only takes 35 to do it.
All 50 states make voter registration without declaring any party – only register to vote. We are all Americans and America comes before any political party. Both major parties are corrupt and no longer represent the people. Make the primaries blanket so there are no parties involved. That means no republican or democrat primaries – all Americans.
All 50 states make ALL elections paper ballot only and mandatory hand counts. NO ELECTRONIC MEANS to count ballots or vote.
All 50 states make it mandatory that a jury is told there are three options – not guilty, guilty, and the law is unjust and nullify the charges. The legal system needs checks and balances too and a jury is one way to do that. The status quo currently HIDES this from any jury.
oh, and they want “Oath Keepers” to protect them, while they attempt to break up the United States of America.
One commenter, speaks thus:
Samantha Adams I would like to get everybody to pledge that they will go over a Constitutional course by either The National Center for Constitutional Studies (NCCS) or by Michael Badnarik, which is currently available through the Internet at:
link removed.
If they do not make a PLEDGE to go through one of these Constitution courses they should not come.*
Considering the fact,t hat the “Constitutional Expert” is a computer “expert”, conspiracy theorist, and disrespects the flag by placing it upside down, and therefore knows the Real Truth of what our Constitution says. He’s an idiot.
*this is akin to the pre-Voting Rights Act‘s Polling place Literacy Test for Blacks.
The first page of the Voting Rights Act. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
The Jeering Section 