The Tale of Kochheaded Dave

Poor little Davey Koch. Someone punked his Governor, and now he’s crying about “Identity Theft”

 

Yes, children, gather round and hear a tale of Poor Kochheaded Dave.
Dave was so wealthy, even he was impressed by it, and thought he was Master of the World. One day, while Kochheaded Dave was petting his second favorite pet, it was an oddly adorable, yet vicious little beast called a “teaparty”, his first, another vicious, yet unadorable beast called a “Walker” was being tutored in the art of deception.

A man, an alien being known as a “Journalist”, picked up his telephone, and made a call to the pet, Walker, and knowing he wouldn’t get to talk to the Walker if he revealed himself, pretended to be Kochheaded Dave. Hilarity ensued as the Walker rolled over and exposed his throat to the Pretender as the Pretender played his unpaid role. The Pretender, when he had had his fill, ended the call, and revealed himself to the World. Now, this revelation caused the Walker great anguish at having been revealed to be the pet of Kochheaded Dave, and Dave. Well, Kochheaded Dave was outraged at the humiliation of his pet Walker, and the admission that he, Kochheaded Dave owned such a pet.

Thinking about what recourse he had, Kochheaded Dave went to the press and declared:

“It’s a case of identity theft,” Koch told the New York Times in a rare interview Friday. “I didn’t even know his name before this brouhaha erupted.”

Poor Kochheaded Dave was beside himself (his favorite sexual position) and “joked”:

“I was thinking to myself, ‘My God, if I called up a senator or a congressman to discuss something with them, and they heard ‘David Koch is on the line,’ they’d immediately say, ‘That’s that fraud again — tell him to get lost!'” he said.

And, you know, that Senator would be quite correct in that assessment.

x-posted to DailyKos